The gift of Loneliness...

The man, who has got the bigger circle of friends, is more alone. Being surrounded by people only proves their loneliness. I just don't know why is it so. But can figure out at least something. They always try to get more people as they can. This is driven by their need to have company. The more they feel alone, the more they try to get around people.

I, very rarely write about myself. It is always about someone, some people around me. And I am always around the people. And I guess, this makes me a lonely person. The each and every hypothesis (yes, I dare to call these hypothesis) can be applied to myself. And it will match. The best lab-pet of me is myself. And yes I feel lonely.

This is one of the most hidden part of myself, I am Alone. And this is why I am always around the people. Always having fun, making fun of them, trying to help them, giving them company, trying to clam them when annoyed. But each and every task I do to get rid of my loneliness. I am doing it for myself only!!!

I always try to forget my loneliness. And to a certain extent, I am successful. I am never reminded of this while I'm around people. But, sometimes, being with people doesn't help.

Today was the last day of my University. I am living so busy a life, even I didn't notice it. But, what I rarely do, I woke up on sharp six today. I got ready, and left for university. Another exception today, I had no trouble getting the bus today. I just got to the bus-stop and got on the bus. No fighting, no waiting! Which is itself a 8th wonder specially on Sunday. After getting on bus, suddenly it struck me. Today is my last day of class. I came wondering all the way, what I will do. For years, I have been planning for this day. And what can I do in so much hurry!!! Then started wondering who else might know. Then figured out, the juniors won't notice. But certainly my friends will. Though they have finished theirs, but we have a tradition of celebrating this day. Even with only two people. But we celebrate. And all my friends know that, this is my last semester. And from tomorrow, my exam will start. Today is the last day of this semester.

I reached university. I went to have a tea. Then I had a lab-exam. And, to my wonder, it went very well. After the exam, I started to wait. How many of my friends will come and wish me. First came, a senior. I didn't expect him. But he came and said nothing of this sort. Then, one of my closest friends. He is doing a job and it is very unusual to be at the university at this time. He was once my room-mate also. He didn't even notice that it was the last day of this semester. How can he wish me? Then I started finding the juniors. One of the closest congratulated me, after reminding. Others didn't notice, even after reminding. Anyway, I was with them. Then the second best friend of mine called. He said, “What are you doing?” I told him, I was with the juniors. Then asked me, how long I will be at the university. To test him, I said, I'll have to go home early, as tomorrow is my exam (I never study before exam, neither do I leave before 8pm before exam). And he told me, 'Well then, go and study. I'll call you later'. I was passing time with the juniors and everyone was having fun. And then suddenly, I felt alone. It is very strong feeling and no one can realize if haven't felt this before. It's like suddenly, you will feel you are different. Suddenly, you will feel distant, far far away. Though, you are surrounded by people. I was becoming anxious for my friends, I decided to call one and called. She was supposed to be at office too. And I planned to meet after office-time. But, she was out already. I could not carry on this any longer. So, I told her this was my last day at university. She congratulated me and asked why I didn’t tell her before. She would have come. I told her before but she didn't remember. I was pissed-off by then and cut the phone. And decided, not to call anyone. I felt lonelier. And the juniors and everything seemed annoying, and left the place.


What do you do when you feel alone? When you feel left off? I feel it very often. And this is one of the things from which, I always try to escape. It is a curse for me. What should a man do, when they feel it? I try to tell it to someone. But no one is there. Everyone is busy with their own problems. So, I wrote this Blog-Post. Just to pass the time. Just to escape the loneliness. Almost all my posts, all my songs are written for this single reason. To escape it!

I guess, this is the gift of Loneliness…