The Gift of Loneliness...

Almost regularly all the people around me reminds me of one thing. Which is, I'm very selfish and self-centered. These persons are very good persons and tries very hard not to do this. But, they can't avoid it as I get too much irritating. What they say about me is, I'm afraid, very much true. They say, I try very hard to impose whatever I like or don't like on them; regardless of their choice.
I never care about what they think. Flatly, I just try to prove them wrong whenever they are out of my domain of like or dislike. I don't even give a smallest thought that, they might be right. And I never admit my fault. Well, what I have to say that, I do admit my fault, but then again, I twist the whole thing in such a way that it looks I'm right. It a very nasty trick but I apply it very often.

They ask, if I know this, or, when they point this out to me, why don't I correct this? Well, there comes the ego of mine. I can't help it. I have tried, but failed. I have a very strong Superiority Complex. and my mind always tell me, I have the right to tell what I like and don't like to the closest ones. I can impose it on them. But, I'm afraid to admit that, I need to respect their choices also. That's what friends do. But, I have, every time, failed to perform this duty as friend. I'm a looser in that perspective.

What can I do, every time this kind of situation arise, I forget that lesson. I can't do it. And hurt many precious feelings of my friends. And I guess, that's why I tend to loose good friends. All my life, I had to fight to get anything. And I always get, what I want. Not even friends came easily. I had to win it. All my life, it seems to me, no one cared about me, my feelings and I had to care for myself. And that made Myself more precious to me than anything else. Maybe that's why, I never care. I tend to assume, if I loose someone, I can always get another. And ultimately, I loose people.

All my life, I have known one thing. I am gifted. I have the gift from the life. And I have to live with the gift of loneliness...

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